grACE

Fuck
what the fuck
lost this one again
nothing to live for
no time to spend
cruel desire for something more
but nothing
just nothing
is left before

I cannot shake this need to be
something for all of you to see
to read and hear and laugh and enjoy
anything would keep this boy
sane again another day
away from that room again
white room and whiteness night
not again the darkest light

i awake frozen
half between dreams
swirl of color on the ceiling again
can’t breath or move or speak or scream
MOM!
when life comes back to me

if I were a sword I’d be dull and sheathed
in the back closet of the loneliest knight
forged for battle I’d never see
lost to the wind
I’d never be

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One thought on “grACE

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